Marks of love.

As pregnancy has moved forward into the days where the Moon sets on Motherhood of one and the Sun rises on Motherhood of two, my body has and will journey, change, and mold into the shape of what God has planned for it to be. My body is the what a mothers body should be. Round, soft and beautiful.

Some will debate on this because we live in a culture that worships the unrealistic and holds standards that only photo editing software can live up too. Where celebrities bounce back to their per-pregnancy size in a matter of weeks, or do they? We are so warped in what we think is beautiful that we look past what really is beautiful and just handed fake, shallow images that destroy our spirit. 

When I was 18, I was in a beauty pageant. I looked beautiful wearing a bubble gum pink ball gown that my mother spent way too much on,a very tiny waist,Pearls in my hair and my make-up perfectly done. I was the image of beauty. I was conforming. However, when they asked me my "question" which was, and I will never forget... "What pressing issue  are our girls and young women of this country facing today?" When I answered, I didn't know that almost 11 years later the issue would be worse  then I ever imagined and it would be challenging me. I answered "I believe the most pressing issue that I am as well as every girl and women face today is self image. I feel that the media is feeding us toxic unrealistic images of what women should look like, damaging what we are. Which is that WE ARE beautiful! No matter what color, size, shape or age. We should be honored for what we bring to our world, not how we can be cheapened by what a magazine or Ad says we should look like. We need to infuse into younger girls and ourselves confidence and pride!" I said that almost 11years ago. how much has changed? Nothing. Well, maybe a little in me these past few weeks.

With my first pregnancy with Monster I never got on stretch mark so, I was shocked when I discovered the ones on my back a few months ago. I feared that they would become huge and my husband would be turned off by my imperfect, flawed body. I panicked! I even shared how mad I was about them in a earlier post. When I showed the marks to him, he turned around and showed me his on his back, then his scars from his multitude of surgeries. I never once looked at them in a bad way so why would he mine? Without those surgeries he would have died. those surgeries pulled his skin tight giving him stretch marks has he grew. Every mark has a story and a reason. Just. Like. Mine. My baby needs room to grow. My belly holds my baby because my arms can't nourish or hold my baby right now. I began to look at them very different after think of them that way. After all, why did I not think they were lovely in the first place?

I look at them now with grace and gratitude. I, for rest of my life, will carry a constant reminder of this time I assisted God in a miracle. The reminder of my first of many sacrifices I give and gave for Higlet and my family and I do it so with pleasure. I am glad that our culture is wrong on what beauty is and that I had the wisdom to realize that.  And, I am truly in love with that fact that what most people think that  are my "flaws" I find that its most beautiful part of my body and I will always honor this time, this baby, my body and God by wearing them proudly.


"A mark for every breath you took
Every blink, every sleepy yawn.
One for every time you sucked your thumb,
Waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness.
One for every time you had the hiccups.
One for every dream you dreamed within me.
It isn't very pretty anymore.
Some may even think it's ugly!
That's OK, it was your home. It held you until my arms could!
And for that I will always find something beautiful in it!"


Psalm 139:13-16
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Love yourself ,your body and your baby. You are one.