Another first day. Another year.

Today is Niko first day of the 2nd year of preschool. And though I have been counting down the days for this day for the last two weeks , it is bitter sweet. As I made his lunch last night, cutting his sandwich into elephants and his cucumbers into butterflies, picking out his clothes and ironing them it made me happy knowing that the next day was a start of a new year. Then this morning the alarm went off and it was time to get ready.

I pulled his lunch out and looked at it for a moment and thought "how long will he want me to buy rainbow bread and cut it into fun shapes?" Then he woke up and crawled into my lap and I rocked him and breathed his intoxicating scent deeply and for a moment I was taken back to the moment I first smelled the scent of my baby. We got dressed with him telling me about tigers that I assumed he had dreamed of. Tied on his new shoes that were that same pair that he had last year. Just like his daddy, if he finds a pair he likes he will keep buying them. Then we went out the door to take some pictures and to make our journey to school.

When taking his picture I thought of how not so long ago, this energetic 3year who at times drives me up the wall  at times, was a 4lb 15oz baby that could fit in the palm of my hand. Wow... These years have flown by, almost a blink of in eye. Three short years. That's it.  In no time I will have another baby who I will watch grow, following in the steps of Niko wishing that there was a way to just stop time to keep them  both little forever. But, I guess our babies grow so that they one day can feel the love that we feel as parents. And I guess that is Gods gift to them and us. Even though it seems like heartbreak as a mother.

And as I write this morning I see little dry lintels on the floor that I missed cleaning up after Niko threw a entire bag on to my living room floor, I smile. In that moment of cleaning a million beans off the floor , I was so mad. Thinking to myself "Arrrrr...I wish you were older so you wouldn't be into everything!!!" I know in a few years I will miss cleaning up his curiosity and I will miss this day just like the pass 1328 days his life. And Yes,  I will even miss the moments that test my patience because I only have those moments once and then they are gone just like the wind. So, slow down my little one, slow down. I guess that statement is more for me then him...