Well, here I am. 41 weeks and no sign of baby. I know Higlet will come when ready though waiting seems to be hard.
I'm starting to believe that maybe it is me holding on to anxiety of the fear that my birth will turn in the the nightmare that was Monster's birth. The fear of something going wrong. The fear that my body will betray me. The fear that my body will not be strong enough to push out my baby. the fear that I will end up where I don't want to be.
I know that birth is normal and that my fears are truly unrealistic. After all, I proved to myself and everyone else that I can take charge of my health with this pregnancy pushing away Pre-Ecalmpisa and IUGR. So, why am I having difficulty pushing away fears that I will be unable to birth the way I want? I need to let go.
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