Let me began to tell you how this all went down (and by that I mean my trip to Hell) on a beautiful Sunday morning...
Niko woke me up like every morning by smacking his hand across my face or a heel dropped kicked in to my eye. I growled to him" wake up daddy and tell him to go get donuts!". This means I get a solid 15 minuets of sleep because Daddy will get up! So, I rolled out of bed, did my thing in the bathroom and came out and sat and had coffee and I think 5 donuts. They were good. I have no regrets!
So, off to the bathroom again except this time something felt funny. You know that awkward feeling right when you get a UTI? It don't hurt but it don't feel pretty too! Well, I say about 30minutes went by and things just got worst. I was 100% positive by this point it was a UTI. So, we called the midwife. She gave some suggestions. I opted for the natural treatment of flushing out my body with a slue of supplements. Of course at this moment PaPa Higley left out the door on a mission and left me in a tub while Big brother monster Higley ran all over the house.
This is where things got ugly! I crawled out of the tub into the bedroom and into the bed , in too much pain to put on clothes. At this point the pain had increased working its way up into my back to where I had to slow my breathing to focus. Monster stood on the side of the bed saying " whats wrong, Mommy? You need to go to doctor?" Me:" No, Mommy is okay. My back just hurts." I turned on the TV to see if that would subside the pain. I found Chicago and tried to sing all the songs.( I know all Fosse songs by heart. ) The singing turned into a kinda of moaning and back to the tub it was.
So, once in the tub, the pain became worst! At one point I was trying so hard to not start a cursing storm that I didn't even realize that Monster was squirting me in the face with a water gun. Out of the tub I got and back into the bed this time I laid on a heating pad hoping that would help. Did it ? Nope. I begin to get really vocal. Almost like a cat in heat and a laboring woman. I rolled around in bed, got fed up and went back to the tub.
Now back in the tub, I just resorted to crying and At this point Papa walked in hanging me supplements and cranberry juice. Wait. It was more like the pee from cranberries. 100% natural no sugar added = poison. Actually, a few days later I was having some and monster took a big gulp of it and started screaming and crying... that how nasty it is.
So, back to my story... Papa said maybe we need to call the midwife and I said just take me to the hospital! We called the midwife and got the okay to go to the hospital. Papa dropped me off becasue we didn't have anyone to watch monster. ( side note : Its okay! I feel very comfortable dealing with hospital staff with my awesome doula skills I can work the system. I also know a lot of the nurses at this certain hospital. Though I only really wanted a certain one.) So, I walked in holding my belly and the nurse behind the counter jumped up and said "HOW MANY WEEKS ARE YOU?!?!" Ugh... I told him, he called L&D and sat me in a wheel chair. Then The guy sprinted to L&D telling me not to push. Okay, as much pain I was in that made me laugh!
They got me into a antepardum room and as I took of my pants Nurse Joyce walked in... the nurse I prayed that would be my nurse. As She walked in I said "Oh thank God! Its you!"
They got me hooked up the EFM and a doctor came in and said she was going to check me. I told her that my vagina had moved to my side. She thought it was funny and I was being serious. I was closed, thank goodness! No contractions either which was a bit surprising. I felt like I was having the pain of labor with out the labor. I was flopping around on the bed and pretty much said "screw you comfort techniques". The doctor said she could give me something for the pain and of course I said no. Then another wave pain came through and I started begging for an epidural which made Joyce laugh. She said she could do better and injected me with morphine ( Okay, chill! Morphine is actually a pretty safe drug to a woman who is not in labor and need adequate pain management) I felt it flow thorough me and then out of me in a matter of seconds. The pain was now worse then it was before and I'm pretty sure they were thinking I was a drug addict because I was begging for more. But I couldn't receive any more until I had an Ultrasound. Two nurses came and asked if I could walk down to the US tech. Ummmm NO! Say the wheeled me in my bed and were nice enough to run me into every wall and corner on the way down there. I just begin to cry...
I cried during the whole US and on the way back to my room. And then Joyce came in with another dose. It did not work and I was left alone. Now the pain was making black out. I had to focus! Plus someone was placed in the room next to me and I could tell that they were concerned for me...I could hear them talking.
The doc came in and told me that it could be two things appendices or kidney stones. They wanted to keep me over night and do some more test. For both of the diagnoses they would normally do a cat scan but because I am a vessel for a miracle, they could not do this. But I did get moved to a sweet L&D room. And I got to pee into a strainer! I told my nurse if anything showed in the bottom of that strainer I wanted it. If I was going to birth something out of my pee hole I wanted to see it!
At this point Joyec walked in with what would be my best friend for the next 24hours, Dilotted. Oh. My. God. The pain stopped which met the screaming stopped. And At this point Papa walked in and knew exactly what they had given me.
So, after this it get boring. I stayed doped up and waited for doc to come and tell me what was up. We are about 100% sure it was kidney stones since I was passing tissue. They let me go about lunch time the next day with some pain meds. Oh, by the way, why do docs like to wait to tell you can eat when they are no longer serving food?! Don't worry my dad brought me some McDonald's which I threw up in the car on the way home. Papa asked as I was puking " Ewww....Did you eat McDonald's?" Yep.
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